Like many people, finding happiness used to be my goal in life, and as an avid consumer of personal development products I learned a lot of techniques for getting there.  You’ve probably heard many of these:  think positive thoughts, force yourself to smile, take a warm bath, and so on.
For a while, I diligently used [...]

I have a friend who, until lately, always seemed upset about something.  If he wasn’t complaining about how someone in his personal life frustrated or let him down, he’d be angry about some current event in the world.  If someone asked why he was so upset, he’d usually insist that any reasonable person would be [...]

Much of today’s personal development literature is about how the type of thoughts you think influence your reality.  Some authors focus on how what you think about tends to appear in the world.  For example, in their view, if you constantly visualize a beautiful house, you’re likely to eventually live in one, and if you’re [...]

Many of us harbor deep-seated negative ideas about ourselves that nothing we accomplish out in the world seems to shake.  No matter how much money we make or possessions we accumulate, how many degrees we earn, or how ideal our lives look on the outside, we’re plagued by the nagging suspicion that something is wrong [...]

Many of us have developed ideas about ourselves—what we might call identities—that artificially limit what we can accomplish in life.  For instance, some of us have come to think of ourselves as shy or meek, and thus we avoid conflict and let others take advantage of us.  Some of us identify ourselves as unmotivated, and [...]

A while back, I wrote an article on the oft-revisited issue of how to deal with a negative “self-image.”  I suggested we’re actually at our most joyful and empowered in moments when we’re not conscious of any self-image, or mental picture of ourselves, at all.  In my experience, self-images, whether negative or positive, are a [...]

It seems like there’s no idea people will defend more fiercely or passionately than the notion that they aren’t good enough human beings.  Many people, when talking about how inferior or inadequate they supposedly are, undergo an amazing transformation.  People who usually shy away from conflict or seem apathetic suddenly become champion debaters when arguing [...]

If you’ve read self-help literature, you’ve probably heard about the “inner critic”—the mental voice that constantly tells you that you’re not good enough, and bombards you with memories of difficult events and visions of nightmarish possible futures.  There are many schools of thought on how to deal with the critic, and most focus on developing [...]

My life has taken a few twists and turns recently, and many outside observers would probably call them “turns for the worse.”  My car won’t run for some reason, I haven’t been able to sell my condo for three months, and my investments have taken a beating.  Five years ago, I definitely would have lost [...]

I used to go through life without really seeing or hearing much of the world around me.  Instead, I was mostly seeing images and hearing sounds created by my mind.  Rather than seeing what was happening in the world, I was watching mental pictures of past events from my life—usually ones I regretted, and of [...]