Reframing “Why Am I Doing This?” | Steve's Quest: The Animated Musical Web Series

Reframing “Why Am I Doing This?”

I suspect we all have moments when we gripe to ourselves, or others, “why am I doing this?”  Perhaps we’re thinking about our career, troublesome relationships in our lives, our exercise routines, or something else.  Usually, we aren’t really interested in the answer—it’s just something we say to ourselves when we hit a certain depth of frustration or despair.

Next time you find yourself complaining like this, I invite you to try an experiment.  Try asking yourself this question again, but see if you can ask it from a place of genuine curiosity.  What are your real reasons for doing what you’re doing right now?  In other words, change your emphasis so the question sounds more like “why am I doing this?” than “why am I doing this?”

If you think about it this way, this is a simple but powerful question that can reconnect you to a deep-seated sense of mission, in your career and elsewhere.

A Real-Life Illustration

In the example that inspired this article, I was giving a “Transcending Procrastination” workshop to some college students recently, and one of them said he had trouble staying motivated when doing work for one of his classes.  Each time he’d sit down to study, he’d start feeling irritated, and repeatedly wonder why he was doing this to himself.

So I asked him:  “well, why are you taking the class?”  As it turned out, when he took this question seriously, rather than treating it as a complaint, the answers came to his mind with ease.  He was a pre-med student, and he had to take the class to get into medical school.  On a broader level, he wanted to go to med school to be a pediatrician—to help children stay healthy and maybe even save their lives.

In short, if he wanted to fulfill his dream of helping children, he needed to study for his class.  When he thought about it this way, suddenly the class didn’t look so pointless or frustrating anymore.  By simply taking a peek at the “big picture,” he got back in touch with the compassion and purpose that set him on his present path in the first place.

A Warning Label

To be clear, asking this question won’t always leave you feeling inspired.  Sometimes, if you sincerely look at the reasons you’re doing something, you’ll recognize they aren’t the right reasons for you.  Maybe you’ll realize, for instance, that you’re doing your current job simply to impress your family or peers.  Or, perhaps you’ll come to see that you’re only in your current relationship because you’re afraid of being alone.

Although we may not like the answer that comes up when we ask this question, I think it’s essential to ask it regularly if we really want the best for ourselves.  If the job, relationship, living situation or whatever else we’re in isn’t serving us, ignoring that dissatisfaction won’t make it go away.  As I’ve written elsewhere, knowing what you want and where you’re headed is key to finding productivity and enjoyment in what you do.

7 thoughts on
Reframing “Why Am I Doing This?”

  1. Albert | UrbanMonk.Net

    I liked this question. A lot. Part of what we’re doing in psychology is meaning in life and its relation on mental health, and I think a simple question like this can keep us grounded. It’s so simple it’s easily overlooked.

  2. Chris Edgar - Post author

    Thanks Albert — I’m glad you appreciated the question. I like the perspective that psychology is about finding meaning. When you said that, I realized that this question can also help people see that, in each moment, they’re making their own decisions, rather than regressing to a state of being angry at their parents for forcing them to do things.

  3. Chris Edgar - Post author

    Hi Jocelyn — thanks for your comment. I think that sums it up pretty well. I know keeping my own motives in mind has been a big source of inspiration for me.

  4. Davina

    Hi Chris. I like how you illustrated that not necessarily changing the words in the question, but changing which words are emphasized can change the perspective. I was thinking something similar to the topic of this post today. My reader had become pretty full and I found myself feeling obligated and burdened to start reading. Then I realized Why I was doing it… because I Like blogging and I Wanted to do the reading. I’m glad I landed on this post. Thanks.

  5. Chris Edgar - Post author

    Thanks Davina — I’m glad you got reconnected with your intention around blogging. I know it feels so much better when I keep in mind that writing is something I’ve consciously chosen to do, rather than something I have to do because people expect it. Best, Chris

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